So, I’ve been a Daddy of 2 for a little over 2 months now and I’ve been meaning to blog about it and share what its been like because it is extremely different than having one child.
One of my favorite parts of having two children (besides the obvious joy of Amelia herself) is watching MJ grow into a big brother. When Amelia first entered his world, he had a really hard time handling it. MJ would either want to hug her or hit her there was no in between. Her ever looming presence in his world really threw him for a loop and he wasn’t afraid (and still isn’t afraid) to “verbalize” this in his actions.
However, despite the pain of a cranky, whiny, world-rocked toddler is this amazing little boy who is learning how to be a big brother. He truly cares for his little sister and loves her deeply. When she cries now, he tries to solve the situation by either playing the music on her swing, or giving her the pacifier I’m sure he still longs to put in his own mouth. He wants to hold her, snuggle her and tell her how beautiful and cute she is. Watching him interact at the level of big brother now is heart warming. Today he lovingly placed her pacifier in her mouth because she was a little upset. He had to be the one to get it and give it to her and it was not out of a “shut up, you annoy me” type spirit, but a deeply concerned loving response.
Amelia is growing up fast too, she’s now over 9 lbs, which to you that may still seem small, but to us as she was born with a wait just over 5 lbs, we are thrilled! She’s alert and smiling and flirting now which is super fun and totally cute.
As I’ve been thinking about this blog, I thought to myself: what’s different now that we have two kids? Below is what I find is different and may help anyone who’s looking to go from 1 to 2 kids soon:
1. Sleep is harder to come by.- This one may seem obvious but my body totally forgot this type of sleep deprivation! You think you remember but…you don’t. Now there is this horrible opportunity in the middle of the night that one kid will get up right after you put the other to bed…which has happened pretty regularly (more so in the beginning, but still it was intense).
2. You have more crap then ever to lug around.- Again, this may seem like a no brainer but a baby PLUS a toddler is like moving a house every time you step outside of your door…because now your diaper bag is twice the size, you have a large car carrier, and don’t forget the giant stroller you need to put that carrier in to get more than 20 steps anywhere… plus the toddler has his/her toys in tow and in the winter everyone needs to be bundled appropriately…it’s just a hot mess!
3. You can’t get out the door on time.- When you have so much stuff to get out of the house forget setting a time and getting out on time…unless you learn to move within this new time frame and allow more space on the front end…which I’ve yet to learn. It always happens too that just as you’re stepping out your door to the adventure awaiting the infant cries for something or the toddler remembers a forgotten toy or movie that is vital to their very existence and you know if you don’t go and get it screaming may ensue, or at least crying and then their crying causes the infant to cry and all of the sudden your car is a cacophony of screaming and crying. So, you take the time to get that toy so as not to have the feeling of insanity that can be brought about by such a symphony of loving loudness.
4. Your Heart wants to explode.- This I don’t think anyone can prepare you for. Each moment, even the craziness listed above is worth it all because of how deeply and richly your heart loves these kids. I serioulsy had no idea how much I could love a child until MJ and once that happened I thought either I couldn’t love as much or the same as I do MJ any other living being…yet with a second child I love her just as much and in a completely different way! I look at my kids in awe sometimes and marvel at how much I love them. No other relationship is like a parent-child relationship. In fact if other people treated us the way our kids do sometimes…those relationships end but not in parenting. In fact we sadistically look forward to future torture if it means we have our kids with us to do the torturing! I can never explain how deeply I love my kids but man oh man do I ever love them!
My heart loves being a Daddy, I just can’t get enough of it. Seeing MJ grow up and be a big brother and such a great little boy makes my heart sing. Having Amelia smile at me and coo at me makes my heart leap. I just love it so, so much! Hopefully this reminded you older parents of the joys of the good old days and reminded you younger, soon to be parents of how great a gift parenting can be. Lastly, let me say I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to do this with anyone but my beautiful wife Hilary! She’s a great Mamma and a wonderful wife!