I do a bi-monthly “Daddy” blog for www.brocouncil.com a website for respectable men called: The Daddy Chronicles. Last week, I wrote a blog about finding out your lady/wife/girl is pregnant. I liked it and wanted to share it here if you missed it last Thursday.
As we venture through the Daddy Chronicles together, I thought it wise to start at the beginning. Defining “Daddy-hood” at conception. Now, I’m not going into deep cultural issues as to what “conception” means so no worries. I’m diving into the reality that your lady is pregnant, now what? I hope this post reminds many Daddy’s of their first kiddo, helps new Daddy’s deal with this moment and give tips to men out there who desire to be a Daddy one day.
The deed is done, the seed is planted and you gonna be a Daddy. First, breathe its OK, you can’t do anything by not breathing, you have 9 months until baby day. Second, go ahead and grab a beer, a cigar or whatever you’d use to celebrate a moment and at the same time calm you down a bit.
Becoming a Daddy is a process, and takes some time but we can start well.
So, how can a Daddy start well then? What can we do at this stage of our baby’s life? Well, put simply: support your baby’s momma.
Whether or not you are married to the baby’s mother doesn’t matter-in order to be a good daddy: support her. The mother’s emotions, the mother’s world, and the mother’s eating all impact the baby inside. Pregnancy is a big deal that brings about tons of emotions for the woman. I know, you’ve got some ideas and emotions too but you don’t have a human growing like an alien inside of you! Be by her side, be willing to get things, give foot massages, calm her fears. Enforce to your baby’s momma that you are here for the long haul (for her or for the kid, whichever the case may be) and that you’re not going to skip town and leave her high and dry. If you truly want to be a good Daddy, this step is huge.
I know this being the first step to being a good Daddy may shock some but it’s importance can’t be under-rated. Getting into a woman’s life for a second: they work best when they know they are loved and supported, it’s the absence of these critical components that cause much pain in a woman’s life. We men don’t always function the same way or have the same needs but for women this is big. If then a woman is carrying a baby, unless you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger of course we men who are responsible for that baby need to do or best and support that woman.
Here are some quick tips on how to take care of your baby’s momma-
1. Offer to clean, do dishes and laundry- guys, this is seriously a BIG hit…
2. Give frequent back rubs and foot rubs- this releases tension and adds a tenderness to your relationship
3. When on road trips offer to stop every 1.5 hours for a bathroom break- Weird? Not really…pregnant woman pee like crazy!
4. Buy whatever junk food they want and right away- this is a big one because pregnant woman are known for their cravings and they will love you deeply if you show true concern and drop everything to get them the little treat they crave.
5. Watch whatever they want to watch on TV- This is a tough one sometimes, but do it and see how much it means to her! I lucked out and married a huge Steelers fan so football season was still a huge GO
Some of you may be thinking: I’m not married to the mother of my future child, or I don’t really love her. To that, I say man up a bit and find ways to support her anyhow. Maybe not all the close intimate stuff but you can still help her with her house; you can still buy her favorite junk food. This step is imperative though because as they say: a happy momma is a happy home!