It all began with a need for a quick dinner. Hilary was hauling the kids home and they were tremendously hungry…kids when they are hungry are not tremendously happy however, so we had to act fast. MJ wanted fish sticks and french fries for dinner and that combo usually works for Amelia as well, so I was up to bat with my master plan of toasting these lovely food articles in the toaster oven. I foiled up the oven rack, so I could place the fish sticks and fries on it, so they couldn’t fall through and cause a fire…
I think things may have been OK if I hadn’t have greased up the last batch of fries a week ago, but I did in fact do just that. I set the temperature for 425 degrees and stepped into the living room. My wife’s nose alerted her to a scent of something burning, so I checked and all was fine. Then I began to see smoke billowing out the sides of the oven…this hasn’t happened before, so I looked again and still all seemed fine. One minute later the scenario changed from fine to pretty much crappyville. The dang thing caught on fire. I say this to Hilary who I don’t think believed me right away. I blew a gust of air at the fire, thinking this was a wise idea, people blow out fires, right? Well grease fires are a bit different than the normal fire…and this didn’t work. In fact, the fire got bigger and shot back at me. I then, had the #Daddy presence of mind to get the food out. Hilary came in, handed me the extinguisher and I shot a blast of the stuff into the oven. SO…even though I caught the thing on fire…I was still able to save the kids dinner and the house due to my quick thinking and cat like reflexes! BAM!
After feeling like a hero for a moment because I saved the house from a fire I started… I was even more chivalrous because I let my wonderful lady go out for dinner with some other ladies (can you say “Girls Night“?). After Hilary leaves for the evening, I sit the kids down to watch a little Steeler football! Not too long into it, I run the kiddos upstairs for a bath, after it became painfully obvious that the Steelers are going to lose not only the game but the entire season. I was going to give the kiddos a bath, read to them, pray with them, tuck them in and have a good rest of a safe, fire-free evening.
I get the water running and my perfect angels are all aglow, super excited to be getting a bath! We laugh and play and splash and giggle when I realized I hadn’t gathered jammies yet. I run into their rooms and am almost done gathering when I hear my little boy scream: “DADDY!! THERE’S POOPIE!!” My natural reaction was to second guess my son, after all neither of these gorgeous angels have EVER and I mean they have NEVER pooped in the tub before so I didn’t believe him. I came into the bathroom to find, not one, not two but three floaties! I couldn’t believe it! I knew MJ was potty-trained so it couldn’t be his poop. I look over at my sweet darling girl and Amelia had a sweet, innocent smile on her face (as if she had nothing to do with the poop swirling around her), but, because of that sweet smile I thanked her for not having diarrhea and yanked them both out of the tub. Let me just make this disclaimer…my kids save all the poopie fun for me…when it’s just me too. It’s like they save these little “nuggets” of fun for when Mommy goes out without me. They must know their mommy is super gaggy…
I went to work with a cup and grabbed the floaties and threw them into the toilet to be flushed. The whole time, I was telling Amelia: “This is not something we do baby…just tell Daddy you need to go potty and he will help you”. All of that was interspersed with random words of thankfulness to her that she had solid poopies and not watery poopies…because the other stuff would not be fun to clean up at all.
Once I sprayed down the tub, I then gave them what are affectionately called “Zuppy Baths” in our house We zup water on them, then soap and then rinse them off and they are done! After our Zuppy Bath, I dressed them for bed, read to them, prayed with them and slumped down on the couch in exhaustion.
Surprises come in all shapes and sizes in the #DaddyLife. Most days I sit back and wonder how I was so lucky to have such an amazing wife and kiddos in my life. Other times I just have to laugh at the crazy shenanigans that come my way…cuz it’s better then crying over fires and poop, right?
What are some of your crazy #ParentLife stories?