Marriages are in trouble. We’ve all heard that statement before. A wide variety of “experts” have come up with reasons why. Some of these experts believe it’s simply theological. Sharing that the sanctity of marriage is in the toilet because of this group or that group. Another group of experts say it’s religion in general that is ruining marriages. These experts blame religious institutions for forcing marriages that shouldn’t have been forced. These are only two out of a wide cacophony of reasons for the reason as to why marriages are in trouble.
I think some of these experts are right and some are wrong. Yet, very few are talking about the reality that married couples as a whole no longer kiss or show displays of affection in public. It seems that for many these interactions cease once the ring goes on. The man no longer pursues his lady in public. The lady no longer cuddles her man when eyes are watching. Why?
I love my wife. I love kissing her, with people around or not. Oddly, this has been shamed publicly. While kissing in front of people, we’ve been told: “Get a room” or “Shame on you two” it was also said: “You’re not on your honeymoon anymore”. I’m not singling any one person out, nor shaming those who’ve said this to Hilary and I. However, those reactions show a serious problem in our society. If you’re not young and unmarried, you “shouldn’t be kissing in public”…unless you’re on your honeymoon. This is a sad thing. If anything, married couples should be the only couples kissing in public!
I may be the lone ranger on this, but I would be super encouraged if I saw a 70 year old couple smooching in the corner, or a 60 year old man lovingly swatting his wife’s behind in public. It would say to me: there’s hope! Romance is still alive in those days, keep going! My wife and I have been married for 8 years and I still feel like I’m on my honeymoon. She is an amazing, beautiful, caring and loving woman. I’m blessed and lucky to have her in my life. Yes, we’ve had our ups and downs and I am not naive to think we won’t still have struggles. However, the moment we feel uncomfortable to kiss in public will be a sad day and I pray never happens.
Why do I think this is so important?
1. Kissing in public models affection
When a married couple kisses in public, it models their affection for each other. It shows the people watching that they still really love each other and enjoy each other. It is a loud announcement that they are still in the fight, and haven’t given up. When people see this, they sense hope. Hilary and I work with college students and they consistently say this in not so many words. They tell us how cute we are. They say things like: “I can really tell you love each other”. Statements like this lead me to believe that when they see a married couple in public never touching or kissing they may question the affection of that couple. I know this is not always true, but if they never see shows of affection, they may ask that question.
2. Kissing in public tells the world: “She’s Mine!”
When I kiss Hilary in public, I am showing the world this woman belongs to me and I’m dang proud of it! I’m able to communicate to all the people that pass by us that this woman is mine and I’m hers! I don’t “own her” but her heart belongs to me and mine to her. It is such a simple gesture but it communicates so much. Not many men are going to try and stare at a woman who has just locked lips to the guy next to her. He will look some where else. He knows she’s taken.
3. Kissing in public gives security to our children
When our kids see us kiss in public, they know we still love each other. Many kids don’t know this about there parents. The older those kids get, the more they worry. Yet, when they see the love we have for each other by the way we display it proudly, they are secure. They eventually will be embarrassed by it…and even their “eww stop!” remarks won’t stop us from still kissing in public, because it will still give them security.
4. Kissing in public shows marriage isn’t boring!
Many young people fear that marriage takes all the fun out of the relationship. They’ve seen marriages fail. They’ve seen the wreckage of the institution of marriage. They need hope that it’s not the death of a relationship, but the very beginning of the BEST part of a relationship. I pray more married couples kiss in public more! I remember something my Aunt (who we call Tia) told me when I was a freshman in High school. She said: “Marvin, Uggs (Uncle Greg) and I love going to a public bench to make out. Even though people look at us funny and definitely avoid sitting next to us, it’s a blast! Remember that when you’re married and try and make people uncomfortable…it’s fun!” I got to be honest…I was a little taken aback at this advice and definitely uncomfortable when she said it, but it’s good advice!
I could go on, but will leave it here.
If you’re married, go kiss in public. Maybe make some people uncomfortable. Let’s show the world that the romance and the fun don’t end when the ring goes on. Let’s give hope to the younger generation that marriage still works. Let’s tell the world by our PDA that we are still in love with our spouses. I dare you!
If you’re not married and see a married couple having some PDA, rejoice. Cat call, and share what it means to you that they’d do that! I dare you!
Have thoughts? Comment below!