Hilary and I have good friends who invited us on a vacation with them this past week. Our friends Jen and Sean were really awesome for inviting us to this trip! Jen’s mom and dad live in Maryland, so we jumped in our soccer mom mini-vans, loaded up our kids (4 kids, our two and their two) and headed off on a great adventure!
The trip was really relaxing, fun and all around amazing. The trip back however, proved to be a bit less of all of those! It was down pouring at one point, windy out the wazoo the next and pretty much toddler/pre-school whinefest in both vans the majority of the trip.
While on vacation with Jen’s parents, her mom or dad (i can’t remember which) said their favorite stop on the turnpike is Roy Rogers. Sean, appalled blurted out: “Why!? It’s so greasy!” To which they replied: “The other places are just as greasy”. Sean, admitted this but said something to the effect of: “But Roy is a different type of greasy” and we left it at that.
So naturally on our way, I see a sign for Roy Rogers and play a joke on our friends and ask via text message if we could please go to Roy Rogers because it’s “Pat Pratt approved” (that’s Jen’s mom).
We banter back and forth and joke about this possibility when all of the sudden we make a turn to actually stop at Roy Rogers…Hilary and I try to call stating it was a joke to no avail…at least this stop has La Famiglia as well we think out loud…if all else fails we can get some pizza.
Oh man was this stop classic! Jen and Sean’s daughter had to go potty, and held it for an hour…yet the potty was a nightmare for their poor little girl, which caused an already frazzled Jen to be even more frazzled. I took MJ potty and came back to check out the food situation. $4.50 for a slice of pizza (that would make Pizza Hut look good and classy),and an A-Plus was all that stood in our way of Roy Rogers. We didn’t want to go to Roy, but his options were starting to look pretty appealing with the other options being so un-appealing…Sean and I give each other the nod, which was a Daddy’s way of saying: “It’s OK man, just this once”.
With the “man” approval, we head over to get ourselves the greasy nasty processed food from the underworld. It went from bad to worse.
The “happy meal” from Roy was an amazing paper bag and a few overly waxy crayons. The meal was 2 greasy chicken fingers and so-soggy-they-were-dripping french fries. I took one for the team and at the french fries so I could spare my son. I just got a spicy chiecken sandwich, and grabbed a soda from the A-Plus. My son ordered a chocolate milk and if there was one thing they didn’t skimp on, it was the extra-sugary-giant-chocolate milk they gave my son!
The chicken came in holsters for guns and everything was 1920’s cowboy themed…little much fellas…it was just a giant greasy waste and we all knew it. You reading this…stop judging, OK. It was the end of a rough car ride, we were desperate and we were at the end of the rope…so back off!
To top top it off, my daughter was a crying mess, untill I used her high-chair as a “ride” and started quickly swaying her back and forth. She LOVED that so much that my wrist got completely tired, but naturally her smile kept me going and doing it over and over again.
I hope your’re wondering why I share all of this ridiculously detailed information. Well, it’s simply: Daddy Life may not be the easiest life, but I love it!
As Daddy’s we’ll fail, we’ll fall, we’ll make our kids eat crappy foods and you’ll say stupid things, like when I threatened at Roy Rogers: “You’ve got to at least drink your chocolate milk, otherwise no Lego Batman in the car!” This trip to Roy Rogers (like many trips before and many after) proves once again that we can go through rough times, but we can get back again…just like Bilbo!
If you’re going through a rough season of parenthood…remember there is a “Back Again” coming soon!
Last Night at around 1:30 am, Roy even had a “back again” as MJ’s body rejected every molecule of said greasy “goodness”. Bad diarrhea, extreme vomit and a bath later, MJ is doing better! SO, If Roy can do it…so can you!